How is it even remotely possible to reconcile the fact that I know so many wonderful, intricate people and yet will only be able to invest my true friendship in a fraction of these sweetly complex beings?
I drive up the hill in a fervor,
Post-hardcore remixes on fire in the speakers,
Until I am cutting the engine with my feet back on the earth,
A smile splitting my face as I gather young lion hugs.
We follow a mossy hike past the waterfall,
Salamanders traversing the trail with red feet -
Like our words starkly exchanged
And my attempt to handstand on the granite place we paused.
I bring a feather back with the sunset to leave on his desk.
We changed back to a time with emo eyeliner and stupid ponytails for
A dance like you remembered it: replete with wallflowers and gossips;
I am a wallflower that learned to dance, but you are pure dancer.
Congregate back to the present day: twenty-one years in our back pockets.
Swapped straight-leg jeans, bandanna tricks, v-necks.
A Tommy Tutone cover has our hands raised to sing: (Jenny don’t change your number!)
A round of flat shots: “You get what you get.”
We talk about past and future trails,
Our proximities in collarbone’s reach,
Sprinkled droplets on the tables outside.
His question is invaded by a Beastie Boys’ riff -
Our leathery shoes agitate to the dance floor.
You gotta FIGHT! Head—Bang—
For your RIGHT! Fist—Pump—
To PARRRR-TAYYY! And so we dance and we dance and we dance and we dance
Until they switch the amps off for the night.
This is Together Again in a new way.
Our dining hall offers us late night red velvet cake
Before we walk out into a forested night,
The moon glowing cold and silently swooned through the clouds,
And I believe I would like to breathe out in this place.
I watch the world from a down-stuffed bag underneath an outdoor roof -
If only I could stay awake and stare and stay there.
This is where we had spent nights smiling in the dark -
But now I grow dim and reach for your hand.
Your palms and fingers slow dance my cold shoulder
And you speak an edge of light back into my irises.
But when you fall into your clouds, my eyes only close,
And I hear the way the rain torrented the field three different times that night.
And when I woke up again, the jays were screaming,
Blue sky above, Where is home?
They said, Get up and move on, there is sunlight on the walls,
It is time to leave.
You roll over with your arm around and say you’ll see me soon.
My mind grows blank and I feel wordless,
Without nerve endings as I stand to gather my things.
You look up to say I love you and I say I love you too.
But it whiplashes while I turn to reignite the engine,
And gravity pulls me down the driveway,
Waves goodbye pushing me out to sea,
For, once again, I am leaving.